Suoma the Life Coach

We live in a world where we are convinced that we are not supposed to be sad for longer than 5 seconds, we’re not supposed to have issues, and we’re not supposed to make other people feel awkward about our problems. We’re supposed to suck it up and just move on, build a bridge and get over it, wear our big girl panties and stop crying. There is so much pressure in our world today to be happy, blissful, joyful and bubbly all the time. There’s so much pressure on us to act like we’ve got our lives together and we’re on top of our game. Society is constantly telling us to be happy, smile and don’t show that you’re hurting. There’s a certain insensitivity towards somebody’s weaknesses, which is quite harsh, because absolutely everybody always hits a low point at one point or another. This leads us to hiding matters that really hurt us, because we’re scared of being childish or annoying. We are told that hiding your pain equals to strength.   But you se...

My goodness, has there ever been a wronger question? Before I get into my “life is what you make of it” mumbo jumbo (wise mumbo jumbo:), let me just say this; life does not treat you, life just gives you offers; you choose which contracts to sign. Now please, allow me to school you. I know what people mean when they ask me this question; they are basically asking “How are you doing?” but I always put on my life-coaching tutu and answer “Oh um, life doesn’t handle me, I handle life.” As trivial as that question may seem to you, it is actually quite a big deal. The implication in that question is that life is in control of “YOU”.  I will repeat; that question is implying that: Life in general...  ...is in control...  ...of how well or how badly...  you’re living.  I used to be one of those teenagers that used to say “life sucks” and mean it. Nowadays, I do still catch myself saying it every now and then, but with less sentimental meaning attac...

Ass   (noun) as/  1.     a hoofed mammal of the horse family, which is typically smaller than a horse and has longer ears and a braying call synonyms: donkey 2.     BRITISH informal - a foolish or stupid person . "that ass of a young man" synonyms: fool, nincompoop, clown, dolt, simpleton ; "If you're not losing friends, it means you're not growing up" - said some people We will discuss the idiocrity (< not a real word) of this quote.  You see, the thing is; you will grow up; get a demanding job or start a business, maybe move to another town, or country, or continent (or planet nowadays), probably get married, have a kid or two, or three, or five *screams*, and get a little too busy to hang out every weekend or chat up with friends every now and then, but it does not mean that you're not friends anymore.  I refuse to be told that I haven't grown up, just because I'm keeping friends f rom High ...

When you're trying to start something great or you're busy pursuing your dreams, it's extremely important to have a great support system. It's even more important to acknowledge that the best support system isn't external, but it lies within yourself.  "If you live off a man's complements, you'll die from his criticsm." Cornelius Lindsey This quote absolutely resonates with my toes; it is so true. If you always look for approval and wait for people to pat you on the back for a job well done, it becomes addictive (I've totally been there). You will get to a point where you feel like you're not doing great just because somebody hasn't told you that you are. And when they tell they don't think your plans or ideas are worth a penny, you'll easily believe them. This is why it's so important that when you do something, your reason for doing it should come from within so that whatever is from without will not frustrate ...

There is a strangely common request that seems very simple but would always leave me with a potato in the throat and make me feel like I’ve been tasked to explain the molecular build-up and scientific formula of a sophisticated form of petroleum jelly:  “Please, introduce yourself.”   I swear, I always though there was a special place in Lucifer’s braai for people that asked that question.  I mean, I don’t know who I am. What do you mean “introduce yourself”? I was forced to make up stuff that made me an ordinary person by basically copying what little of introductions I’ve read or heard somewhere of people that are at least “similar” to me. But I could not tell you who I was. I was freaked out by the prospect of telling someone who I was. Like, do I tell them the truth or just the good stuff? Wait, what good stuff?  Growing up, I realized that this is quite common in most people. Maybe it is because of a fear of seeming egocentric or conceited ...