"How is life treating you?" they asked.

My goodness, has there ever been a wronger question? Before I get into my “life is what you make of it” mumbo jumbo (wise mumbo jumbo:), let me just say this; life does not treat you, life just gives you offers; you choose which contracts to sign. Now please, allow me to school you.

I know what people mean when they ask me this question; they are basically asking “How are you doing?” but I always put on my life-coaching tutu and answer “Oh um, life doesn’t handle me, I handle life.” As trivial as that question may seem to you, it is actually quite a big deal. The implication in that question is that life is in control of “YOU”. 

I will repeat; that question is implying that:
Life in general... 
...is in control... 
...of how well or how badly...
 you’re living. 

I used to be one of those teenagers that used to say “life sucks” and mean it. Nowadays, I do still catch myself saying it every now and then, but with less sentimental meaning attached to it, because I don’t actually believe it at its core. Look; I know life is hard.  It’s hard on everybody.  Crappy things happen sometimes, but life is beautiful nonetheless; well at least my life is.

 “…I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” – Jesus Christ

Wait, allow me to just brag a little bit here; my life is soo beautiful, like, it’s crazy abundant, I cannot stress it enough. I love my life, maybe it’s because I have Jesus and he’s got me too (smiles), or maybe it’s because I understand that if you hate life, life has a way of hating you right back. And in a competition between life’s weapons of misery and mine, I’d lose like Germany (7) v. Brazil (1) in the 2014 FIFA World Cup, so I’m just gonna chill and be like “Ok, life, I love you okay, please be nice to me”. 

Since I grew to appreciate and love my life; life has loved me back in unimaginable ways; life is just so good to me; opportunities, beautiful people in my life (Hey there you), family, food, dreams, strangers becoming friends, growth, spiritual abundance, freedom of the soul and of the mind; joy, absolute joy. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying crap doesn’t happen to me, oh it does; very well even. Sometimes crap happens and I’m just like “Oh come aaan!” But what I’m saying is that; the fact that crap happens in certain areas of my life does not mean that my life is miserable. I do not allow life to treat me.

“How is life treating you”??  I think there is a special place in Lucifer’s braai for people who teach God’s children that life is in control.  I know that life happens, but when life happens, what you do is take control, buddy. You’re the captain, you’re the driver, you steer, you direct this play, and you’re running the show, so act like you’re running it. It’s like what they say; “When life gives you lemons, (own those lemons and) juice the life out of those lemons”. 

This resonates with my cute toes... 

Like, "No, life, I’m sorry but I refuse to take these lemons. Why are you giving me lemons? I don't want lemons, I want chocolate, or ice-cream, even a Ferrari would be nice, what am I gonna do with these lemons?? I don't like lemonade." If life forces them lemons onto you, graciously just throw the lemons back at life and life will be like, “Oh my goodness, looks like somebody’s taking control!” So yeah, kinda like getting the lemons and making grape juice and life will be like “Oh my goodness, I can’t deal, how did you do that??!”

 You need to handle your life; filter negativity from positivity, live on positive energy, manage stressful situations successfully (DO NOT IGNORE THEM), minimize your needs, don’t let other people determine whether you will be happy or not (at least not for too long anyway), when life gives you lemons, don’t advertise them on Facebook (please), protect your joys jealously, take control of your life and live the best life, like, ever!

                                                                                                                                      Own the Monday, take control of it and make it the best day of your week. Favorite it, decorate it, celebrate it, welcome it, embrace it, have a crush on Mondays (instead of having crushes on #MondayMen, or whatever the hashtag goes like) . Change your perspective and Monday will never look the same to you again. Life can be a big bully; don’t be a victim, be a victor.

Always remember what Berlin said...

So come one, take it like a woman! (I would say “like a man” but we all know who’s tougher:)