Don't be an *ass

Ass (noun)

as/ 

1.    a hoofed mammal of the horse family, which is typically smaller than a horse and has longer ears and a braying call
synonyms: donkey

2.    BRITISH informal - a foolish or stupid person.
"that ass of a young man"
synonyms: fool, nincompoop, clown, dolt, simpleton;

"If you're not losing friends, it means you're not growing up" - said some people

We will discuss the idiocrity (< not a real word) of this quote. 

You see, the thing is; you will grow up; get a demanding job or start a business, maybe move to another town, or country, or continent (or planet nowadays), probably get married, have a kid or two, or three, or five *screams*, and get a little too busy to hang out every weekend or chat up with friends every now and then, but it does not mean that you're not friends anymore. 

I refuse to be told that I haven't grown up, just because I'm keeping friends from High School; that's just loads of crap.  Get this straight: "growing up" does not mean "losing friends".

You've been taught by many speakers that it's alright to lose friends and that it means you're on the right track. It could be that you're probably doing something right, yes, but tragically (as I am here to inform you), it could also mean that you're simply being an ass (oops). 

Here's what I know about an ass. An ass is commonly known as a stubborn donkey. Nobody likes a stubborn donkey. A stubborn donkey, as we all know, stubbornly stands in the road or crosses the road on its way to wherever, without looking to the left or the right. People who are like stubborn donkeys do not necessarily care about other people; they do their thing and they are not bothered to check out on anybody around them. I was a bit like that; I'm busy recovering *hides*.

When you're on your pursuit of happiness or success, it’s very easy for you to assume that everyone is an enemy to your dreams. So, you know, you protect your vision and you do your thing. You have been taught that people will drag you down, so just leave them, ignore them and dump them. That is partly true, I agree. But I think there’s a bit of a problem with that; you don't realise that you're leaving people behind. You see, you'll climb the ladder of success on your way to the top, get there, and realise that you have nobody to celebrate with you coz the people you started from the bottom with are still at the bottom. And yes, it may be their own fault that they didn't catch up with you and you're not obliged to change anybody's baby's nappies, but it could also be that you didn't care enough to carry your obligatory burden as a "friend".

Success is sweeter when celebrated with those you struggled with. It's my personal belief that the older we grow, the more we want around us those people that saw us growing, people who know us so well. These are people you're almost absolutely sure aren't just tagging with you coz of a new-found fame, wealth or prominence, because they've tagged with you even when you were technically a “nobody ". When you're grown and set in your ways, sometimes it gets quite difficult to establish new and genuine relations with other people. You will feel like your new people just don’t get you, which is because they don’t really know where you’re coming from. That's why I think it's absolutely smart to stick to your homies and grow with them than ditch them for a more fitting crowd. You can add to your circle of friends, of course, but replacing people is simply uncool.

  If you're always the one that's losing friends coz you're “growing”, maybe you should conduct a serious self-introspection. You are a common denominator of destruction. How is it that you're always outgrowing people? You have to learn to nurture your friendships by cultivating the growth of your buddies. This requires maturity, emotional and relational intelligence. It’s obviously easier to just ditch people if they’re not catching your drift, but it’s quite important to work on your relationships instead of running away from them. You can't afford to jump ship every time you feel like a group of friends isn't serving you anymore, coz that's just mad. It's mad because friendships aren't for the sole purpose of serving you, but they are a platform for you to serve your friends as well and if you have some inside tips on succeeding in a particular area of life, instead of going at it alone, share with your clique so you can rise together.

Now please, understand this; I am, in no way, telling you to stick to your loser friends, because like I said; some people will drag you down. I’m telling you to identify your crew and stick it out in growth so you can all go to the top, raise the glass and sing...