Be your own Cheerleader



When you're trying to start something great or you're busy pursuing your dreams, it's extremely important to have a great support system. It's even more important to acknowledge that the best support system isn't external, but it lies within yourself. 
"If you live off a man's complements, you'll die from his criticsm." Cornelius Lindsey
This quote absolutely resonates with my toes; it is so true. If you always look for approval and wait for people to pat you on the back for a job well done, it becomes addictive (I've totally been there). You will get to a point where you feel like you're not doing great just because somebody hasn't told you that you are. And when they tell they don't think your plans or ideas are worth a penny, you'll easily believe them. This is why it's so important that when you do something, your reason for doing it should come from within so that whatever is from without will not frustrate you.

You also need to understand that not all criticism is meant to break you. Not everybody that criticises you is a hater (get over yourself), so you don't have to take all criticism negatively. There is such a things as constructive criticsm. Learn to take it like a woman! (I would say 'man', but we all know who's tougher:)) Learn from it and grow from it.



"Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things." Winston Churchill




If you have a cheerleaders or a fan club for your dreams and your life in general, that's awesome. But the thing is, cheerleaders usually operate better and cheer louder when the team is performing well. Think about it; when your favourite sports team is doing great, you're likely to scream and shout louder. You go crazy. You're excited and you're motivated to have their back. But when they start slacking on the field, you hunch your shoulders, cup your face and pray they don't ruin your day. When they under-perform that season, you don't even wanna wear their sports colours/jersey, coz goodness, it's so embarrassing. That's human nature; loyalty is not a bone that most of us possess; we're only loyal until...

It's the same with life. When you are pursuing your goals and you're doing great, it's easy for people to support you and high-five you coz they can see what's going on. People can only cheer you on for as long as you're cheer-able upon. You see; cheerleaders can only see so much of the playing field. They stand on the sidelines and they cheer according to what they perceive. Their view of the ball game is highly limited to the angle at which they stand.
When you start slacking, most people get a little cynical and demotivated. When (not 'if') you encounter some struggles or hit rock bottom, all they see is the struggle and the trying times. All they can see is your depressive Facebook status updates (I really hope you don't do this) and they will even like them. 'Like, seriously?!'. People will go as far as to advise you to just give up on your pursuits or try something else. And they're not being mean at all, sometimes they mean pretty well, they're just reacting normally because that's all they can see; your struggle.

When you have a dream and a goal to achieve, motivation should come from the inside; outside motivation is either insufficient, ephemeral or simply unavailable. You may be the only person that believes in yourself and that's enough. Be a self-starter, a self-motivator and your own cheerleader, because only you understand your journey, only you have the full view of the ball game; you know where you're going and you know where you're coming from, outsiders can only understand so much.

Here are a few things you can do to ensure that you remain motivated even when things fall apart (I can never say 'things fall apart' without thinking of Chinua Achebe, by the way):


1.Believe in yourself
Don't doubt yourself; that's the haters' job. You have to believe in you, in such a way that other people have no choice but to follow suit. Not only does this give you true confidence, it provides you with people who can believe in you even when you don't believe in yourself; you've managed to convince them that you're the ish, even when you're not acting like it. So, they'll remind you.



2. Believe in your dream and your purpose

If you are so confident about the dreams you're chasing, not even a bad storm can stop you from sailing. You don't even need people to understand your vision, because you understand that it's a heart thing, and it's in your heart, not theirs. Your dreams become so real to you that quitting just because people don't get it is not even an option. 



3. Keep your struggles to yourself. 
"Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys." Rita Schiano

Until the storm is over, don't publicise it. Some people enjoy pity parties so when you tell them about yours, they'll do very little to get them to end, as a matter of fact they'll just make the party bigger. If there's one party you should be too busy for, it's a pity party. (Or, at least just don't invite us please) Disclose your wins (just don't annoy us while doing it). But disclose your failings only after you've overcome them. 


4. See the bigger picture. 
The bigger picture is the bigger game. It's easy to lose motivation when things seem bleak, especially if you can't see how bright the future is. Never forget the goal. This will keep you focused when everybody (and pretty much everything)  around you says "it wasn't really gonna work anyway "


5. Identify your day-one homies

If somebody was there during your humble beginnings, chances are they're not gonna jump ship on you when you hit your mid-term crisis. These people have your back, they're your biggest fans. They'll still cheer you on, just like they did when there wasn't much tangible reason to.

6. Failing is not an option



Don't entertain the 'If this doesn't work, there's an alternative..."  kinda thoughts. If you make room for an alternative, your mind and efforts will make room for it as well. Forget Plan B or Second options. Burn the bridges, buddy. It's either you succeed or you succeed. Failing is not an option, so why make room for it?


7. Motivate others 
"But this I say; He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully." Paul, 2 Corinthians 9:6

The Bible says "A man reaps what he sows".  Life is like that; what you put in, you get out. Motivating and encouraging others leaves you motivated and encouraged.


8. Grow through it 
Don't just go through a season, grow through it. Next time you face the same mountain, you would have outgrown the negative experience and the overwhelming feelings of hopelessness.

9. Have a life coach and/or mentor on speed dial


You see, at the end of the day; life is a rough sport. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. The way I see it, you need a good coach to get you getting up and going at it, over and over again if necessary. A life coach gives you the accountability you need, is a great consultant in decision-making and will assist in maximising your potential by strategising on your pursuits. A coach will remind you who your biggest cheerleader is; YOU.




One more thing; always remember...



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