Do you Hate your Appearance?

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)

 What is it?

Most of us have something we don't like about our appearance: a crooked nose, a loop-sided smile, dry skin, thick thighs, small butt, or one eye being smaller/bigger than the other. Although we may fuss about our imperfections, they don’t usually interfere with our lives that much.

But when you have BDD, you think about these real or perceived flaws A LOT. You have negative thoughts and don't believe it when people say you look fine. This usually causes serious emotional distress and affects your day-to-day life. You feel so embarrassed, ashamed and anxious that you may avoid social settings, isolate yourself, even from family and friends, because you are scared others will notice the defects.

               Symptoms

1. Constantly thinking about your appearance
2. Not allowing your picture to be taken (or deleting a lot of pictures of yourself)
3. Deleting a picture shared on social media if it does not get enough “likes”
4. Only sharing pictures that are filtered
5. Frequently checking the mirror or avoiding mirrors
6. Constantly comparing your appearance with others
7. Over-exercising
8. Constantly changing outfits
9. Wearing certain types of clothing, likes hats and scarves to cover up
   
10. Wearing excessive makeup or growing a beard just to cover up the flaw
11. Being extremely preoccupied with a perceived flaw that appears minor to other people
12. Repeatedly touching, checking, or measuring the perceived imperfection
13. Strong belief that you have a defect that makes you UGLY or look deformed
14. Belief that others can notice the “defects” and they’re mocking you
15. Seeking reassurance & validation/opinions about your looks from others, yet not believing them when they say you look good
16. **** Avoiding social situations ****
17. Leaving the house less often or only going out at night to try to camouflage your appearance in the darkness
18. Repeatedly combing your hair, re-touching make-up, shaving or other grooming activities 
    
19. Compulsively skin picking with fingernails or tweezer to remove unwanted hair or blemishes
20. Seeking cosmetic procedures/plastic surgery, which usually leave you feeling unsatisfied
21. Making multiple doctor visits, especially to dermatologists
22. Having perfectionist tendencies
23. Suffering from emotional problems like depression, feelings of disgust, low self-esteem, and anxiety

Causes

Like other mental health conditions, what causes BDD is not specifically known, it’s usually a combination of issues: family history of the disorder, abnormalities in the brain, bad experiences about your body or self-image, negative childhood situations like being bullied or teased (kids are mean), certain personality traits, such as low self-esteem or perfectionism, societal pressure to meet certain beauty standards (social media yea), having another mental situation, such as anxiety or depression.

Effects

BDD may get worse over time, leading to anxiety, OCD, eating disorders, high medical bills, severe depression or other mood disorders, and even suicidal thoughts & behavior, substance abuse, health problems, physical pain or risk of disfigurement due to repeated surgical interventions, broken relationships, not taking opportunities as a result of low self-esteem. You may also impose unrealistic standards on children & people around you.

What to Do

1. Shame & embarrassment may keep you from seeking help but if you have any signs or symptoms, talk it out with someone 
   
2. Learn as much as you can about the condition and how it affects you.
3. Pay attention to warning signs and learn what triggers your symptoms so you can avoid the triggers
4. Discuss it with your therapist.
5. Consume social media like Instagram mildly
6. Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel “less”
7. Follow body positive pages & content
8. Don’t freak out when you feel you “look bad.”
9. Focus on keeping healthy & practice self-care
10. Stay physically active to help keep your mood elevated & spirits high.
11. Define your own standards of beauty – throw away the media ideals of beauty
12. *** Quit the comparisons ***
    
13. If you cannot resist the urge to compare, look to normal people, not Instagram models and Hollywood stars
14. Try a day or two of being makeup-free.
15. Take a break from the mirror
16. Define yourself in ways other than how you look: your personality & inner qualities
17. Start believing that everybody is beautiful
18. Smile
19. Work with me privately 1-on-1 so we can work on your ability to love yourself, make courageous decisions, destroy your fears, and design your daily habits to achieve what really matters to you. Send me an e-mail at suoma@tobiasconsultancy.com 

Until next time, remember: you are beautiful. 

With love always,