Half Situation + Half Relationship = Situationship

Situation - sɪtjʊˈeɪʃ(ə)n/ n. a set of circumstances in which one finds oneself; a state of affairs.

Relationship - rɪˈleɪʃ(ə)nʃɪp/ n. the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected.

Situationship - sɪtjʊˈeɪʃ(ə)ʃɪpn/ n. a connection between two people that one simply finds himself in; almost similar to, but substantially  different from “friends with benefits” 

One blogger defined it as...

 "a romantic involvement between two people which includes, but not limited to, frequent dating, house visits, (possible) parent meeting, (possible) friend sharing, sex... (sometimes) and the catching of feelings by at least one person. However, there are absolutely NO titles established in this union. No rules, no regulations, no responsibility, NO BOUNDARIES!" - Alondra Hunt

A situationship is basically: let’s just chill and be cool, we can even have sex plus have deep emotions for each other, and be confused about whether we’re together or not, but we are not allowed to catch too many feelings, no commitments, no accountability. Sharp. 

  

10 signs you’re in a situationship...

1. It smells like a relationship, it sorta looks like a relationship, feels like a relationship, even talks like a relationship but it’s anything but a relationship. It may even be a potential relationship. 

2. When people ask if you are in a relationship (of course, they’re only asking because you do “relationship” things with this person) your answer is usually; “We’re just chilling, we are sort of friends, we’re cool, we care about each other and stuff, we really have a good understanding”.

3. You’re sort of still hunting. You have come to the resolve that it’s okay to be with Mr/Mrs “Right Now”, but as soon as you meet somebody “better”, it won’t be a problem to just up and leave.

4. Your union is somewhat secretive, so you do the whole vampire thing: You only meet at her place or yours, mostly at night with nobody else around, surprise visits are unwelcome and you may sleep over a couple of times, but you don’t leave your stuff there. 

5. You communicate a lot via the phone; texts or calls (usually late at night) and most discussions almost always become soo sentimental, overly emotional or sexual

6. There are no pictures of the two of you in public. Of course people shouldn’t advertise their relationships on Facebook, but if you go to lengths to make sure that you don’t post the selfie you took together, you hang out a lot but there’s absolutely no sign of it in your social feeds, or are not even friends on Facebook, something’s fishy.

7. He/she tells you things like “I’m just not ready for a commitment” right after a heavy make-out session or after having sex. Like, uhmmmm, okay.

8. In the rare but occasional expression of deep emotions with each other, this line pops up “We are just friends.”

9. Every time you come together after a long time of not hanging out, or whenever you make up after a disagreement, you immediately have sex.

10. The physical intimacy is awesome. Your make-out session or sex is mind blowing and out of this world. This is the reason you guys keep hooking up, despite feeling crappy afterwards. 

I don’t know what’s sadder; the fact that situationships have become the common and acceptable way of doing things, or the fact that there is usually one party to this union that isn’t seeing it for what it actually is. Most times, one party (male or female) is hoping it grows into a relationship, but the other party is usually quite dead sure it won’t. 

We usually find ourselves in situationships due to some weird kinda loneliness, the occasional boredom and emptiness that comes with a non-beeping phone, social pressure (everybody is posting #BaeThings on Social Networks) and societal expectations that tell you that the clock is ticking or throw around stupid questions like; “You don’t  have a boyfriend, why not?” Uhmm, because it’s perfectly fine not to have one, no? 

Male people are known to be the willing participants and founders of situationships, because they are fine with just a booty call without any strings attached and women generally “catch” feelings way too soon, but of late, women are also willing perpetrators of situationships just like guys (I would know.) 

I’ve been a victim of a situationship at least twice (I know, I know, I’m stupid and I never learn). The first situation was “I love you, but I believe we might break up if we officiate this, and I really want you to be my wife in the future”. I was a blindly in love teenager, so that explanation made perfect sense to me. I was benching waiting for the future, while Prince Charming was out and about hooking up with every willing skirt. “I’m just not ready for that kinda commmitment” right after a heavy make-out session was the line in the next situationship I got into, but we were a couple in every sense of the word; we just couldn’t admit it to anybody that asked; it was devastating for me, to say the least.

I’ve also been on the other side of the coin; where I was getting myself into a situationship with somebody for recreational purposes. I just wanted to have fun and chill, but Brother-man was catching way too many feelings way too fast, I had to pull out stops. 

Either way, I have come to the conclusion that situationships are not healthy, they are not cool, and they are definitely not okay. They are a waste of time, and they leave either you or the other party with unresolved issues, heavy baggage and unsettled emotions. I mean, a situationship doesn’t even have the courtesy of “friends with benefits” because with the latter, every party knows exactly where they stand; you are friends with boyfriend-girlfriend benefits when it suits either one of you. A situationship is undefined, uncertain and more often than not, involves one person catching feelings and hoping that the situationship grows into a relationship, which it sadly almost never does. 

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" - the Holy Bible

With my experiences, I look myself in the mirror sometimes and shake my head in disbelief; situationships are beneath me, and they should be beneath you too. Even after reading my grand wisdom here, chances are high that you will find yourself in a "situationship" at some point in your life. If it does happen, pull out the stops and don’t let it overstay its welcome; you will only get hurt or hurt another person. 

What ever happened to the good old “I like you, you like me too, let’s go out for lunch and if we like each other super much, we get into a healthy courtship and inform everybody that cares to know”?

Whatever the situation,