Not yesterday, not tomorrow; TODAY!


There are certain things that you’ve probably been doing all your life that keep you unhappy and not enjoying your now-life. These are self-distracting habits that we have subconsciously come to accept as inevitable truths of our life cycle. You will very likely disagree with me (I know this, because half of my friends kinda disagree with me), but I want to coach you to learn to live in the moment and I hope (unlike my dear friends) that somebody catches my drift ( and that somebody is YOU, just in case you're wondering...)

Every moment and every season of your life is as important as the next; your future is not more important than your present, just as your present isn’t more important than your past. No season should take up so much time of the other season, every season should be lived in its time; the present. Leave the past in the past, live tomorrow when tomorrow comes, but now; now is now, so live now.
The Past

First of all; living in yesterday is just so dumb, because there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. There are so many things that might have happened in your life that you wish you could relive again. Living in past victories, for the most part, keeps you from creating the victories of today, because you’re still celebrating having been the best debater in varsity that you forget to strive to be the best lawyer now. 

Looking back at how good you once were usually has the effect of making you feel like you could never be that great again, which isn’t true. The key is to keep being great. So, you had a great time when you once lived in Europe in your teens and now, we as your friends are being tortured with hearing the same stories over and over again, because you apparently don’t have a life anymore. You had an amazing relationship with somebody in the past and for some reason you’re not together anymore, but now we have to endure being compared to your ex-partner, to whom we will never ever match up. STOP. Living in past victories only steals from your present victories.

There are also things that happened and you wish had never happened; yesterday’s regrets. Don’t we all have those? That dumb guy you wish you had never given your virginity to, that crazy girl you wish had never gotten past ‘hello’, that marriage that should never have happened that’s got you stamped ‘divorce’ on your forehead, hurtful things you might have said to someone you were really close to and now the friendship is dead because of you, an opportunity to go study abroad that you missed because of a bad choice. There are so many things we may regret and I’m sorry to say this, but we’re only growing older, so here’s to future regrets. Trust me on this one: you’re not done screwing up; and such is life. We need to stop regretting things. Rethinking them over and over again and hoping we would’ve made different choices isn’t going to fix anything. As a matter of fact, it only makes you feel like a loser and dumb butt, which has absolutely no prospect of making you a better person anyhow, so just forget it and move on.

The Future 

“I can’t wait to finish school and go to university”, then you go to university, “I can’t wait to graduate so I can start working.”  You start working, “I can’t wait to get a tender so I can leave my job and enjoy the money.” Then there is; “I can’t wait to get married and have kids”, “I can’t wait for my kids to grow up so they can go to varsity,” they grow up and leave,’ “I can’t wait to retire so I can enjoy my life with my spouse” until you just die being a “can’t wait” bum. You never live in the ‘now’ that is demanding your attention, so you are never content with what is your current life and you’re always looking forward to a brighter future which never becomes bright because the moment you get there, you look forward to another bright future. Just stop, please. Live your life now; just be in the ‘now’. The future is "ahead" for a reason. 

I get really annoyed by people who constantly keep telling me to look to the future and basically live for my future self; like my present self is not as important as my future self! “Work now and play later, save now and spend later, study now and reap later” “Your future self will be so thankful” Yes, but my present self is out here being starved, because apparently the future is more deserving of good things than the present? That’s just twisted.
When I was in law school, for example, I deliberately played as much as I studied, because I had the realization that attaining my law degree could not possibly be worth ignoring five years of my social life. Many people can only tell you how ‘studying’ was this and that; crazy tests, stupid exams, mean lecturers, blah-blah-blah. I am currently working, I’m enjoying my job and I’m spending as much as I’m saving. I’m enjoying my singleness as much as I’m looking forward to being married. I cannot spend my “now years” solely in preparation for my “later years”. 



Similarly, it takes a special kind of masochist to constantly worry about tomorrow, simply because you can worry until your hair turns grey, and you will never be able to fly over to tomorrow, knock on its door and say ‘Hi I’d like to avoid this and that...’ All your life seasons are significant, and you’re going to have to enjoy the living daylights of today as much as you will knock the joyous socks off of tomorrow when you get there.




"Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, And let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth; Walk in the ways of your heart, And in the sight of your eyes; But know that for all these, God will bring you into judgment (oops!)" - Wise King Solomon




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Do you know about the pre-relationship?

Image
This blogging thing has got me feeling like some type of relationship expert, though... Disclaimer : The views and wisdom expressed in this blog do not reflect the state of my love life in any way. Or lack thereof, rather… Remember when we were younger and boys would write notes to girls asking them to be their girlfriends? The girl would then tick in the appropriate box YES or NO. Oh no wait, that’s just in the American movies. Where I’m from (the north), a boy asked you nicely to be his girlfriend, and if you showed hints of resistance, brother-man would just twist your arm into obedience. Little savages.         Anyway, my point is: relationships were quite easier then (if we can call them relationships at the age of 12). If there was someone in your life, at least you knew for sure if you were in a relationship-relationship or not. Things have changed quite dramatically. Guys don’t even ask anymore (Like, what's up with that, boys?). N...
Read more

People don't like you??

Image
A number of people have confessed to me that sometimes they feel like they are not liked very much and they hate it; they ask me for advice, “People seem to like you a lot, how do you do it? How do people just like you?” And in my head, I’m like “Oh well, that’s probably just because I’m pretty awesome and stuff *hides*”. That’s a joke. Maybe J    Sometimes I do get this feeling that someone doesn’t like me and there are times when I feel unwanted and it sucks terribly.  What’s funny, for me, is that the internet is graced with quotes that say things like this. I'm gonna be that lifecoach that tells you that there's something wrong with that kinda picture. As human beings, we generally want to be affirmed & appreciated by others, coz we are created to connect with other people; it can honestly be quite harsh on the soul if people don’t like you. Then you have to act like you don't care, coz the world is telling you that you're a major loser if you care w...
Read more

To the Shallow 20something year-old Namibian guy…

Image
For some pathetic and probably natural cause, I’ve been thinking about marriage lately. Like, A FLIPPING LOT, almost absolutely every day. I’m also finding myself engrossed in conversation about marriage and weddings, like all the time. Must be because, my sister, my best friend and my colleague are all getting married, (and pretty much everybody else) and everything else on my twitter and Instagram feed basically screams “Marriage! Wedding! Compatibility! Wedding-shoots” The irrational notion that the clock ticks and has started doing so in my case is badgering against my brain. No no, don’t worry, I’m not getting paranoid... Or maybe I am. *sigh* Whatever.   Anyway, here we are: in the 21 st Century and things have changed dramatically since our grandmothers had gotten married. I, as any other female millennial would relate, am a victim of banners that shout that 21 st Century girls are not marriage material. *rolls eyes* Fair enough. Here are the following insu...
Read more