New Year’s resolutions? What New Year’s Resolutions?

So here we are, beginning of a brand new year, and behold: all the New Year’s resolutions lists, quotes and tips. How painfully exhausting! Every end-year, we  get overwhelmed into a sudden realization that years are flying and we should strive to make each year more meaningful. Which is understandable. But the whole “new year- new me” thing is a little overrated, isn’t it? I find it quite redundant. 

First of all, the notion of a new year’s resolution is ridiculous. I learned a long time ago that there is nothing particularly magical about the first day of January that makes you more determined to change your circumstances, and this is the first thing you should understand. Promises of hitting the gym more often, drinking more water, being kinder to strangers, learning new things and spending more time with friends and family... I think that anybody that waits for a new year to be a kind person is a deuchebag and anybody that waits for a new year to live healthier is nothing short of air-headed.

Why do you have to wait until New Year’s before you can improve your life? Your life is measured in moments, and moments aren’t twelve months long, and they definitely don’t begin rolling from the 1st of January. You can decide to live a cooler life any month of the calendar. There’s no real commitment behind New Year’s resolutions, and you know it. You should constantly resolve to improve your life, throughout the year; monthly resolutions, weekly resolutions are more sensible.   

Time flies, and before we knew it, 2016 was upon us. You don’t remember what you achieved in May, you don’t know what you did with your life in June and by July, you have absolutely no idea what happened to your new year’s resolution of losing weight. You still didn’t get your Driver’s license as you had planned to, you hadn’t saved up N$20 000 by the end of the year, and you didn’t start that business. You didn’t even quit smoking, and heaven knows it was the first thing on your Resolutions’ list. All the resolutions are then postponed to the following year. 

You may also be guilty of making (and severely breaking) several of these resolutions:

1. Get a medical check-up

2. Get rid of old clothes 

3. Get a six-pack 

4. Stop eating junk food or eat healthier

5. Spend more time with family (after you realized at the Christmas dinner that they are pretty cool people)

6. Drink less (after the embarrassing binge-activities at that new year’s party)

7. Get into a relationship (…awkward…)

8. Get a mentor 

9. Learn a new language (Ever considered learning Russian?)

10. Start blogging *wink.wink*

11. Worry less

12. Get a new job (or quit a pathetic & boring job)

13. Backup the computer data

14. See a dentist (am I the only one that is unquestionably scared of these people?)

15. Stick to a budget (Janu.worry blues)

16. Drink more water

17. Spend less time on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram 

18. Watch less TV (what are you people even watching nowadays?)

19. Get out of debts

20. Stop being lazy (whatever that means)

21. Go back to school 

22. Meet a celebrity (Heaven knows what for)

23. Get a tattoo or a piercing

24. Travel more (or just drive a bit out of town for those of us that have been humbled by small-figured bank accounts)

25. Learn to cook 

26. Get insurance

27. Recycle

28. Write a book

29. Stop stalking an ex (Yup, we’ve all been there…)

30. Stop biting nails 

31. Talk to parents more

32. Read more  

These are three of the top reasons I believe you won’t stick to your new year’s resolutions, and we can bet on it: 

UnTimed resolutions

The reason you don’t accomplish most of the goals you set at the beginning of the year, is because you take time for granted. “This year I will gym more, get a six pack or lose weight” isn’t as realistic as “I will hit the gym 12 times (3 times a week) every month”. “Spend more time with family” should be translated to “Spend two Saturdays of every month with my family”. “Read more” is better when it’s “Read two new books every month”.

I advise you to segment your life in monthly or weekly portions, instead of yearly sections. Every new month is a new opportunity to set goals and accomplish them in less than 31 days. Time your resolutions, so that it’s easier to track your progress. You have to be time-conscious. Be sensitive to your days and hours and how they can easily fly by while you’re seated on your bum in front of your computer, waiting for December to see how you did. 

UnCertain resolutions

Ambiguity and uncertainty is another reason we fail miserably at keeping up with our resolutions. Be specific about what you want to attain. That way you know whether you have achieved it or not. “Lose weight” is so imprecise, and it’s better to set a goal to lose 10kg for example. You are more likely to meet a celebrity if you are specific about which celebrity you want to meet, because you will know which places to go to, other than just being all over the place. 

“This year I am going to be more giving” will bring you to December with disappointments of having given a little or nothing at all. It is completely different from setting a goal like “I will give 5% of my monthly salary every month to various people and causes”. And instead of writing “Travel more”, rather say “Travel to Tanzania in September”, that way it’s easier to work towards.

UnWanted resolutions

Let’s face it: if you don’t really want to do something, chances are; you won’t do it. You make a long hideous list of “make more friends” when you are the most dedicated introvert on earth, “lose weight” just because somebody said you look fat, “learn to play the guitar” when you don’t have the slightest interest in music and you are musically deaf. Of course, you won’t stick those resolutions through; they aren’t tailored to your life.

If you want to drink more water and eat healthier, just because it looks like a nice trend and everybody is doing it, you will definitely not stick it through. You won’t get a medical check-up unless you want it bad enough, and you won’t want it bad enough unless you understand why it’s important. To be determined to do something, you have to want it bad enough. It’s that simple. 

On that note, always remember...